The Baltimore Sun from Baltimore, Maryland • 23

THE SUN Personalities Movies Television Comics Classified SECTION MONDAY, AUGUST 5, 1991 as? 4 --L' Car-Less Ocasek Warms Up 'Stumbling' on songs is his path to success By J.D. Considine Sun Pop Music Critic 4 f' 1, 1 ALICE STEINBACH Emotions Transcend Gender Gap 7 1 i 4- ven before interviewers open their mouths, Rlc Ocasek knows what they are going to ask. It won't be a question about his third solo album, "Fireball Zone," or whether he's planning a tour behind It. Nor will lt -a 3 have anything to do with his new wife, model Paulina Porlzkova. No, the question Ocasek knows Is coming has to do with the Cars, the multi-platinum new wave band he once fronted.

And almost everyone asks it: "Are the Cars ever going to get back together again?" His answer? "I always say, 'You can't unscramble the "Nobody will let me detach myself," laughs the Baltimore native. "I'm always, like, ignored, you know? But I had a 12-year tenure with the band, which I enjoyed and thought was great, and at the end I started to think it was becoming sort of redundant. I liked the people, but after all those tours and especially during the last tour it became a little shaky." Which Is why Ocasek doubts that the Cars will be heading down Reunion Street any time soon. Although he hesitates to rule it out completely "I'm a firm believer in 'One never he says he has little interest In reliving his musical past. "That era's gone," he says over the phone from his home In Manhattan.

"It's no use beating it Into the ground." Besides, he has always preferred to go his own way, In life as well as in the music business. Born Richard Otcasek he won't say how many years ago Ocasek started his musical career in Cleveland, but spent his youth In Baltimore. "I lived there until I was about 1 6," he says. "I remember that year moving, because that was the first year I could drive." Ocasek's father was In the Air Force at the time, and his family lived See OCASEK, 2D. Col.

4 GEFFEN RECORDS Ric Ocasek admits to always being something of a rebel. Art review Cyclists celebrate end of CAM-Tour My 22-year old son, a liberated sort of guy who's been cooking since the age of 8, called from Japan the other day with an urgent request: "Mom, I'm having people over for dinner and I need your recipe for barbecued chicken." He paused. "And Aunt Pat's recipe for eggnog." He was rustling up this slightly weird combination of food and drink, he told me, for Japanese friends who had expressed an Interest In these two "all-American" dishes. It wasn't an unusual request. Last month I sent him my recipe for apple pie.

Later that week I received a phone call from my other son, a student in Colorado. A liberated sort of guy who's been sewing and mending things like climbing equipment and down parkas since he was 12, this son wanted my advice about sewing machines: "What's a fair price for a second-hand sewing machine?" he asked. This Is the same son, Incidentally, who for years begged me to teach him how to iron shirts. I always refused, afraid that If I gave up all my "mother-type" domestic skills my sons would not need me. It's funny.

When I realized I was never going to have a daughter I grieved a little over what I thought I was going to miss: the pleasure of sharing "womanly" things, things like cooking and sewing and gardening, with another "woman." And I feared missing the kind of deep Intimacy that as a daughter I had shared with my own mother. I knew I could love my sons deeply but Identify with them? I wasn't so sure. I grew up with an older brother and the gender gap between us remained too wide to cross. The fact Is that by the time I reached motherhood 1 had bought into the stereotype that the emotional reactions of boys and girls were completely different. And that I would never be able to Identify with my sons.

But time and my sons proved me wrong. As the mother of sons I have come to understand that boys are just as vulnerable as girls to all the emotions that define the human condition. Feelings of love, friendship, rejection, ambition, insecurity, envy, generosity, anger, tenderness, self-esteem, lack of self-esteem these are not gender-specific feelings. I have watched my sons' pursuit of love and friendship and the need to belong. And once you have watched a son fight his way through feelings of sadness or rejection over the loss of a friend, the failure of a romantic relationship, the disappointment at being left out of some desired event, you soon understand that some things transcend gender identity.

It's been said that many men become feminists when they have daughters that as the father of a daughter, they truly grasp, for the first time, the limitations placed on women by gender barriers. And there are few fathers who do not wish for their daughters the same opportunities in the world as they do for their sons. But being the mother of sons Is a consciousness-raising experience, too. And one of the things it teaches you Is that while there are many differences between the way boys and girls view the world and the way the world views them there are also many similarities. I I know what It's like to be a woman.

But being the mother of sons offered me a singular glimpse into what it's like to be a man. Humorist Russell Baker once observed that the "three absolute requirements required to qualify for 'man' status" In our society are "utter fearlessness, zest for combat, indifference to pain." Given such requirements, Mr. Baker added, he would have to consider himself "only a second-rate man." What he's describing, of course, is part of the "macho myth." And Just as the "feminine mystique" forced confining standards on women, so too does the "macho myth" force many men to feel "second-rate" if they don't measure to that confining view of manhood. Both concepts also add to the suspicions with which men and women regard one another. But over the years, as I've watched and listened and shared my sons' lives, I found there was not a lot emotionally speaking that I couldn't identify with.

All I needed to do was summon up my own feelings from the past when something similar happened to me. Of course, it was a wonderful bonus when my sons expressed an interest in such things as cooking or gardening; things I thought I could share only with a daughter. On my most self-confident days I like to think my sons have learned something from me about what it's like to be a woman. But mostly I'm grateful to them for allowing me to witness day by day, year by year the unfolding of the boy Into the man. By Scott Needle 1 1 I 1 11 B'ff lie ie Across "It's a hot day, but it's the last day," said "Counselor" Tom Carson before he loaded the baggage onto the trucks one final time.

The First National Bank Cycle Across Maryland ended 'Saturday In Easton, and emotions soared as high Maryland cried. He explained that CAM-Tour had helped his rehabilitation and gave him tremendous self-respect. Thanks to the support received on the tour, he achieved what he had considered an impossible goal. Despite the experiences and friendships of CAM, most were glad to be going home. Warm showers and comfortable beds were sorely missed, while overripe bananas and wateredlown Exceed sport drink could be forgotten.

Besides, just thinking about another day of biking was enough to make a rider reach for an ice pack. Sore knees and minor scrapes plagued virtually every rider, but serious injuries were remarkably absent. Just like Thursday's century patches, the ace bandages were even a mark of courage and survival. Toward the end, CAM took on this sick kind of humor, as riders relished their pain and thrived in what others might see as torture. People made Jokes, not complaints, about leathery PowerBars, sore butts and getting up before dawn to ride 60 miles.

Comics had ripe material for Friday night's second annual Talent Show, where Poetic Pat and the Roadkill Rat, the After-Lunch Bunch, and others performed. By audience vote, the 3 Live Crew's "Rapping the Bay" took top prize, earning them an all-expense paid trip to CAM-Tour IV. Next year's trip will begin in Western Maryland, See CYCLE, 3D. Col. 1 as the temperature.

A huge celebration at the Sts. Peter and Paul School in Easton greeted exhausted riders as they arrived from Centreville. The euphoria wasn't over the day's ride, which was flat and easy especially for those who took shortcuts. Rather, each cyclist had achieved a personal triumph in surviving the third annual CAM-Tour. Most riders congratulated themselves Just on finishing the six challenging days, while others celebrated their 100-mile "Century Ride." Like Rob Bain of Elllcott City, many had never tried anything like this and still couldn't believe they had done lt.

But for a few, CAM had a particular Importance. Riders by the dozen thanked organizer Pat Bernstein for her efforts, but one stuck in her mind, she related at the closing ceremonies. A former drug and alcohol abuser, he hugged her, then broke down and ERIC N0RB0M "Dread," a black-and-white bowl by Steven Glass and Mary Holland. From serious to whimsical, museum's juried exhibit shows ceramicists' range ir IS v. i J- By JohnDorsey Sun Art Critic From Steven Glass and Mary Holland's "Dread," a handsome black-and-white bowl with simple but effective drawing, to Jo Schneider's almost 7-foot-tall sculpture "The RationalThe Irrational Right BrainLeft Brain," there's a wealth of variety at the National Museum of Ceramic Art's Regional Juried Exhibition.

It adds up to one of the most Interesting shows this organization has yet mounted. This Is the first regional for the museum, which enlisted Jurors William Daley, distinguished professor of art emeritus at Philadelphia's University of the Arts, and Frederick Brandt, curator of 20th century art at the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts in Richmond. Judging from the results, they were open to a wide range of styles but Insisted on fresh and original work. So as we travel from quite traditional functional work to the purely sculptural and from the whimsically playful to the deadly serious, there's scarcely a yawn In the lot. Even the most conservative works in form usually See ART, 6D.

Col. 4 Shaun and Sheila Callahan of Baltimore dance with Joy after completing the Cycle Across Maryland Tour. Beglnning Aug. 11, Alice Stelnbach's column will appear twice a week. Look Jot It Sundays In the People section and Thursdays tn the Today section pThe Sun.

ART BALTROTSKY Woman accuses singer Rick James of torture. Names and Faces, 2D 'Chameleon Street is a remarkable first film, 4D. T- "IT A 3T.